Sometimes we are our own worst enemy!

This morning I woke up got dressed in my workout clothes,  I even put my workout socks and shoes on.  I knew my sister was coming over, and I had every intention of taking advantage and hitting the pavement at the park for my walk.    But, as I was waiting for my sister I found myself trying to talk myself out of going for my walk.  I was going through every excuse in the book.   The question of the day is why?  Why would I try to talk myself out of going?   I wasn't hurt or in pain, I wasn't sick,  I didn't have to take Zoe with me, I did have a busy schedule for the day, but I have one every day!   I was actually looking forward to going, but yet here I was trying to talk myself out of going.    It was almost like I wanted myself to fail.   It really made no sense.   Luckily, I was able to see that I was trying to talk myself out of going, and tossed that idea right on out of my head.  I grabbed my car keys and out the door I went.

When I got to the park, and I started my walk I decided to try to push myself past what I thought I was capable of.  I had a little bit of a mental tug of war with it, then and finally decided to just try and see what happens.   So, I told myself that I was going to run up the big hill,  don't worry your eyes didn't just deceive you I did in fact say run.  Okay, well more like slowly slowly slowly jog.  So,when I got to the bottom of the hill and ready to start climbing up, I sprinted up the hill.    When I made it to the top of hill I was winded and huffing and puffing, but the point is I made it!  I didn't faint, have a heart attack and keel over, I made it to the top!  I was pretty proud of myself.   So, proud of myself that I decided to wait a minute and then sprint again!   So, after it was all said and down I completed at  least 10 sprints. I know that doesn't sound like a lot to anyone who runs all the time, but for a run that weighs almost 300lbs and feels like she is way to fat to run, it's a huge accomplishment.  I made each one a little longer than the first one.  It was great!   Now, are you ready for the best part?  I hope your sitting down!  I really liked the sprinting!    I think I liked it so much because I've always told myself  "your too fat" to even attempt to run or "you can don't that,".   But, I was able to do it.  Who cares that my boobs were bouncing all over the place, or that fat and flab were flapping in the wind!   It certainly didn't matter to me!   What mattered to me was that I was able to do something that I always felt I couldn't do or that I was to fat to do!  I had a smile on my face  the entire time.   When I finished my second lap (3rd mile).  I wanted to put my arms up in a Popeye type pose, and just bask in how strong and empowered I felt, arm fat flapping in the wind or not, I didn't care.  What mattered to me was that I was so happy to accomplish something, that I told myself I couldn't do!  And, I did it, I wasn't hurt or dead, and really I didn't even feel like I was dying.    Sure, I did have to dig deep a couple times to force myself to not stop before the goal I set out for myself, but that means that I was growing.  Having to dig deep and push through something gives you the courage to do it again the next time!   It helps to build your faith in yourself!

So, my lesson for the day is that we limit ourselves.  We tell ourselves that we can't do something or that we aren't good enough, strong enough, pretty enough.  But, yet when we open our minds and have a little faith in ourselves we find a strength we never knew we had!   I'm so glad that I found it in me to try!  I accomplished a lot more today than just a few sprints!

For those of you wondering how I feel now.  I'm sore and more exhausted than ever!  But, I'm thankful for that!