I go to see my family practioner every month for a weight loss check up. I feel like this keeps me honest with myself about where I am in my weight loss. I also feel like it gives me a chance to discuss with some one with a medical background. And, it also allows me to ensure that I am losing weight safely and in a healthy way.
My check ups, are pretty easy. I get on the scale, I get a shot of b-12, my doctor runs my hormone panel because of my pcos, and then we discuss my month. We talk about how my pcos symptoms were, how I felt, what I felt like I did right and what I felt like I did wrong. We come up with a plan of action for the next month, and then she always gives me some encouragement. This actaully helps me. It most likely wouldn't help if i didn't have such an awesome doctor. My doctor remembers me, she also has pcos, doesn't treat me like a patient, she treats me like a friend. She comes into the exam room, she sits down and says how have you been. She really listens, and really cares. It also really helps that she has pcos. So, when I tell her about a problem with a symptom she understands. She helps me try to treat and prevent the symptom, not just deal with it.
So, after explaining all that. This week when she sat down and asked me about my week. I was telling her that I was really struggling with my workouts and feeling deprived, on the low gi. I felt like I was going to have to live this life by never eating things I enjoy again. So, I was telling her all this and she told me that she wanted me to work on my thought process. And, she's right. I do need to work on my thought process. It is going to be a struggle if you tell yourself it's going to be. It is going to really suck, if you tell yourself that it's going to suck. She told me to change my thinking to thinking about how much better I am going to feel.
So, that is my plan for the next month. To focus on changing my thinking. To start thinking that I enjoy the workouts, even when I have to use a DVD to work out. And, I'm going to work on thinking that I'm not being deprived, that I'm feeding my body what it needs to feel and be healthy! I'm really not sure how to go about it changing my mindset, but she suggested that every time I caught myself saying something negative that I turn it into a positive. So, that's my plan.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Failing to plan, is planning to fail!
The title says it all. I failed to plan today. I failed to plan my meals, my day, and well that found with me a big fat failure for the day. I ended up some high GI foods. And, now I find myself craving them and it's so much easier to just say yes to eating them again. I knew I should have planned better! I didn't workout today as well, only because my knee is swollen and throbbing. Thank you cold front for making my knee ache.
I'm dreaming of buying myself an elliptical for Christmas. Because, my mom has arthritis and hers started in her knee when she was about my age. A couple years ago I started having pain in my knee and swelling. It mostly happens when it's cold or when I big storm is coming through. Sometimes, it it will swell and ache if I injury it. In the summer it doesn't give me much trouble, but in the winter I better look out! Ellipticals are a lot easier on the joints, so that I is why I am dreaming of one!
Tomorrow, it's back to low GI, no matter what. And I will find myself tested tomorrow I am sure. Because, we are going out to eat with family to celebrate two birthday's I'm suspecting we will find ourselves at a steakhouse. I'm good with that. I can turn down the bread with no problem and while a steak isn't low fat it does have a low gi. So, I just make sure that I order a steak the correct size. A steak and a salad sounds like just the thing.
I have managed to make it 7 days without a soda. They don't appeal to much anymore, so I'm very thankful for that. Tomorrow is a new day, and tomorrow I am committed to not planning to fail or failing to plan! Tomorrow is weigh in day, so lets hope the scale brings me some good news!
I'm dreaming of buying myself an elliptical for Christmas. Because, my mom has arthritis and hers started in her knee when she was about my age. A couple years ago I started having pain in my knee and swelling. It mostly happens when it's cold or when I big storm is coming through. Sometimes, it it will swell and ache if I injury it. In the summer it doesn't give me much trouble, but in the winter I better look out! Ellipticals are a lot easier on the joints, so that I is why I am dreaming of one!
Tomorrow, it's back to low GI, no matter what. And I will find myself tested tomorrow I am sure. Because, we are going out to eat with family to celebrate two birthday's I'm suspecting we will find ourselves at a steakhouse. I'm good with that. I can turn down the bread with no problem and while a steak isn't low fat it does have a low gi. So, I just make sure that I order a steak the correct size. A steak and a salad sounds like just the thing.
I have managed to make it 7 days without a soda. They don't appeal to much anymore, so I'm very thankful for that. Tomorrow is a new day, and tomorrow I am committed to not planning to fail or failing to plan! Tomorrow is weigh in day, so lets hope the scale brings me some good news!
Friday, November 22, 2013
Sometimes we are our own worst enemy!
This morning I woke up got dressed in my workout clothes, I even put my workout socks and shoes on. I knew my sister was coming over, and I had every intention of taking advantage and hitting the pavement at the park for my walk. But, as I was waiting for my sister I found myself trying to talk myself out of going for my walk. I was going through every excuse in the book. The question of the day is why? Why would I try to talk myself out of going? I wasn't hurt or in pain, I wasn't sick, I didn't have to take Zoe with me, I did have a busy schedule for the day, but I have one every day! I was actually looking forward to going, but yet here I was trying to talk myself out of going. It was almost like I wanted myself to fail. It really made no sense. Luckily, I was able to see that I was trying to talk myself out of going, and tossed that idea right on out of my head. I grabbed my car keys and out the door I went.
When I got to the park, and I started my walk I decided to try to push myself past what I thought I was capable of. I had a little bit of a mental tug of war with it, then and finally decided to just try and see what happens. So, I told myself that I was going to run up the big hill, don't worry your eyes didn't just deceive you I did in fact say run. Okay, well more like slowly slowly slowly jog. So,when I got to the bottom of the hill and ready to start climbing up, I sprinted up the hill. When I made it to the top of hill I was winded and huffing and puffing, but the point is I made it! I didn't faint, have a heart attack and keel over, I made it to the top! I was pretty proud of myself. So, proud of myself that I decided to wait a minute and then sprint again! So, after it was all said and down I completed at least 10 sprints. I know that doesn't sound like a lot to anyone who runs all the time, but for a run that weighs almost 300lbs and feels like she is way to fat to run, it's a huge accomplishment. I made each one a little longer than the first one. It was great! Now, are you ready for the best part? I hope your sitting down! I really liked the sprinting! I think I liked it so much because I've always told myself "your too fat" to even attempt to run or "you can don't that,". But, I was able to do it. Who cares that my boobs were bouncing all over the place, or that fat and flab were flapping in the wind! It certainly didn't matter to me! What mattered to me was that I was able to do something that I always felt I couldn't do or that I was to fat to do! I had a smile on my face the entire time. When I finished my second lap (3rd mile). I wanted to put my arms up in a Popeye type pose, and just bask in how strong and empowered I felt, arm fat flapping in the wind or not, I didn't care. What mattered to me was that I was so happy to accomplish something, that I told myself I couldn't do! And, I did it, I wasn't hurt or dead, and really I didn't even feel like I was dying. Sure, I did have to dig deep a couple times to force myself to not stop before the goal I set out for myself, but that means that I was growing. Having to dig deep and push through something gives you the courage to do it again the next time! It helps to build your faith in yourself!
So, my lesson for the day is that we limit ourselves. We tell ourselves that we can't do something or that we aren't good enough, strong enough, pretty enough. But, yet when we open our minds and have a little faith in ourselves we find a strength we never knew we had! I'm so glad that I found it in me to try! I accomplished a lot more today than just a few sprints!
For those of you wondering how I feel now. I'm sore and more exhausted than ever! But, I'm thankful for that!
When I got to the park, and I started my walk I decided to try to push myself past what I thought I was capable of. I had a little bit of a mental tug of war with it, then and finally decided to just try and see what happens. So, I told myself that I was going to run up the big hill, don't worry your eyes didn't just deceive you I did in fact say run. Okay, well more like slowly slowly slowly jog. So,when I got to the bottom of the hill and ready to start climbing up, I sprinted up the hill. When I made it to the top of hill I was winded and huffing and puffing, but the point is I made it! I didn't faint, have a heart attack and keel over, I made it to the top! I was pretty proud of myself. So, proud of myself that I decided to wait a minute and then sprint again! So, after it was all said and down I completed at least 10 sprints. I know that doesn't sound like a lot to anyone who runs all the time, but for a run that weighs almost 300lbs and feels like she is way to fat to run, it's a huge accomplishment. I made each one a little longer than the first one. It was great! Now, are you ready for the best part? I hope your sitting down! I really liked the sprinting! I think I liked it so much because I've always told myself "your too fat" to even attempt to run or "you can don't that,". But, I was able to do it. Who cares that my boobs were bouncing all over the place, or that fat and flab were flapping in the wind! It certainly didn't matter to me! What mattered to me was that I was able to do something that I always felt I couldn't do or that I was to fat to do! I had a smile on my face the entire time. When I finished my second lap (3rd mile). I wanted to put my arms up in a Popeye type pose, and just bask in how strong and empowered I felt, arm fat flapping in the wind or not, I didn't care. What mattered to me was that I was so happy to accomplish something, that I told myself I couldn't do! And, I did it, I wasn't hurt or dead, and really I didn't even feel like I was dying. Sure, I did have to dig deep a couple times to force myself to not stop before the goal I set out for myself, but that means that I was growing. Having to dig deep and push through something gives you the courage to do it again the next time! It helps to build your faith in yourself!
So, my lesson for the day is that we limit ourselves. We tell ourselves that we can't do something or that we aren't good enough, strong enough, pretty enough. But, yet when we open our minds and have a little faith in ourselves we find a strength we never knew we had! I'm so glad that I found it in me to try! I accomplished a lot more today than just a few sprints!
For those of you wondering how I feel now. I'm sore and more exhausted than ever! But, I'm thankful for that!
Thursday, November 21, 2013
I'm making strides today!
They say that the first step to recovering from an addiction is to admit you have a problem. With that being said, my name is Wendy and I have an addiction to weighing myself every morning! I can't tell you if it's a good or bad thing that I find myself getting on the scale more than once a week. I guess it all depends on what the scale says! Sometimes I feel like the scale has this magic power over me and it can either make my day really great or it can make my day really bad! I know it's really silly to let an object determine your day and mood. When I weighed in on Sunday my weight was 292, my starting weight was 365! This morning the scale brought me good news I guess it felt I needed to have a great day! This morning the magic number was 282, that's 10lbs since Sunday! Now, I completely understand that it's water weight! But, I don't care! It still means a loss so I'm going to take it and celebrate it! Deep down I really do fear that when Sunday comes and it's time for the official weigh in that it will have crept back up! Hopefully, the scale gods will still be on my side then!
The scale isn't the only place I'm making progress though on morning when my daughter has school I go and walk three miles at the park as long as the weather permits. Well, today I had to be back at my daughter's school an hour and a half after I dropped her off for her Thanksgiving party. Plus, I had to come home and pick up the hubby so he could go with me. So, I told myself that it was okay if I didn't get my walk in because I was short on time and I knew there was no way I could get whole three miles in. So, I gave myself an excuse and a pass. But, when I was getting dressed I was on auto pilot. I got my walking clothes, socks and shoes on grabbed some extra water bottles and went out the door. I dropped the little one off and school and headed straight to the park. I think I got about 2 miles in, and then came home to shower and change to get back to her school. It previous times I would have taken the excuse that I didn't have time and then not gotten my walk in. But, the fact that I did it more on auto pilot than actually having to force myself to do it tells me that I'm in a really good place right now! I think I deserve a gold star for the day!
In other news I'm not having many cravings for sweets like I was having before. I think the low carb thing is actually helping. I'm also not craving the soda like before. I am only tempted when I open the fridge and it's staring me in the face. But, I haven't had to pull out a juice box in two days, three if I make it through today! Part of me though is really worried that I am going to all the sudden find myself back to craving them. But, I know that it's a lot easier to say no to them the first time. But, if I allow myself to have them then it's a whole lot harder to say no and that's how I find myself back in a place that I'm constantly craving them. I just need to remind myself of that!
The scale isn't the only place I'm making progress though on morning when my daughter has school I go and walk three miles at the park as long as the weather permits. Well, today I had to be back at my daughter's school an hour and a half after I dropped her off for her Thanksgiving party. Plus, I had to come home and pick up the hubby so he could go with me. So, I told myself that it was okay if I didn't get my walk in because I was short on time and I knew there was no way I could get whole three miles in. So, I gave myself an excuse and a pass. But, when I was getting dressed I was on auto pilot. I got my walking clothes, socks and shoes on grabbed some extra water bottles and went out the door. I dropped the little one off and school and headed straight to the park. I think I got about 2 miles in, and then came home to shower and change to get back to her school. It previous times I would have taken the excuse that I didn't have time and then not gotten my walk in. But, the fact that I did it more on auto pilot than actually having to force myself to do it tells me that I'm in a really good place right now! I think I deserve a gold star for the day!
In other news I'm not having many cravings for sweets like I was having before. I think the low carb thing is actually helping. I'm also not craving the soda like before. I am only tempted when I open the fridge and it's staring me in the face. But, I haven't had to pull out a juice box in two days, three if I make it through today! Part of me though is really worried that I am going to all the sudden find myself back to craving them. But, I know that it's a lot easier to say no to them the first time. But, if I allow myself to have them then it's a whole lot harder to say no and that's how I find myself back in a place that I'm constantly craving them. I just need to remind myself of that!
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Updated Progress Pics.
Hey Ya'll,
I thought I would send some new progress pics.
This first pic is at my starting weight of 365.
And the next two are from about 333.
And the last two are from today (this morning the scale said 287) but we will see what Sunday's weigh in holds.
I thought I would send some new progress pics.
This first pic is at my starting weight of 365.
And the next two are from about 333.
And the last two are from today (this morning the scale said 287) but we will see what Sunday's weigh in holds.
Monday, November 18, 2013
It's time to bring this place back from the dead!
So, it's been a very long time since I've written a post. I know you guys need an update! I've lost 73 pounds since I started this journey. It was 75, but I gained two back this week! Lately, it's been really hard to get back on track after falling off. So, I thought that maybe I needed a new plan! I'm switching from calorie counting, to low glycemic index. I have PCOS, which causes insulin resistance, so my doctor felt that I should really give this plan a try. I can't say that it's a "diet" because a diet to me is something that is temporary. And, this has to be for life! So, no diet words here!
One of the biggest changes I am making is, no soda at all. NONE, whatsoever! Let me tell you, this is a struggle for me! I keep telling myself it's going to get easier and that one day I'm not even going to miss them. Is it "one day" yet? Because, right now it's really hard. My head hurts, even though I was always drinking a caffeine free one. My head is still killing me. Guess it wasn't as caffeine free as I thought. As a replacement of sorts for the soda, when I really need something with some flavor to it I'm drinking some juice. I bought some Apple and Eve 100% no sugar added juice boxes (yes, apparently I'm five again!). I got the boxes because they are already measured in oz's so I don't have to pull out a measuring cup. I am lazy like that!
Right now, the low gi plan seems pretty overwhelming to me, and complicated. So, I will have to let ya'll know if it gets any easier. I'm sure it will it's just an adjustment. I can say this, right now I am really struggling with that "night time" eating. I know you know what I'm talking about it. It's 9pm and all I want to do is go raid the cabinets, and eat an entire bag of chips, or an entire package of cookies, or brownies, or cake! Yum cake! But, I refuse at least for now, to give in. It's only day three, so I'm still feeling strong! I hope I am able to keep the will power up! Brownies, and cookies are certainly my weakness. If any of those are in my house, I wake up thinking about what is an acceptable time for me to be eating them! It's absurd! For tonight though, I'm going to pass on the binge session and be strong, or maybe just got to bed so I will sleep through the urges. There have been times in the past when I've went to bed just to sleep through urges to binge on anything I could get my hands on! But, sadly I just wake up thinking it also!
One of the biggest changes I am making is, no soda at all. NONE, whatsoever! Let me tell you, this is a struggle for me! I keep telling myself it's going to get easier and that one day I'm not even going to miss them. Is it "one day" yet? Because, right now it's really hard. My head hurts, even though I was always drinking a caffeine free one. My head is still killing me. Guess it wasn't as caffeine free as I thought. As a replacement of sorts for the soda, when I really need something with some flavor to it I'm drinking some juice. I bought some Apple and Eve 100% no sugar added juice boxes (yes, apparently I'm five again!). I got the boxes because they are already measured in oz's so I don't have to pull out a measuring cup. I am lazy like that!
Right now, the low gi plan seems pretty overwhelming to me, and complicated. So, I will have to let ya'll know if it gets any easier. I'm sure it will it's just an adjustment. I can say this, right now I am really struggling with that "night time" eating. I know you know what I'm talking about it. It's 9pm and all I want to do is go raid the cabinets, and eat an entire bag of chips, or an entire package of cookies, or brownies, or cake! Yum cake! But, I refuse at least for now, to give in. It's only day three, so I'm still feeling strong! I hope I am able to keep the will power up! Brownies, and cookies are certainly my weakness. If any of those are in my house, I wake up thinking about what is an acceptable time for me to be eating them! It's absurd! For tonight though, I'm going to pass on the binge session and be strong, or maybe just got to bed so I will sleep through the urges. There have been times in the past when I've went to bed just to sleep through urges to binge on anything I could get my hands on! But, sadly I just wake up thinking it also!
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